The Grave Dancer

[Rye]

Summery-

[Rye]

-Chapter One-
We were moving.
Again.
Like the last accursed thirteen years on this god-awful planet.
Oh,by the way my name's Samantha Kuek.Call me Sam for short.
As you can tell,I've moved thirteen times within thirteen years.Coincidence?Of course not,my parents' job requires moving every year,which has resulted in more than just anger and hatred towards my parents and co-workers,something indescribable.I don't even know what my parents' do for a living,which is pretty ironic.But anyhow,every year we have to move around(this year ON) my birthday.Nine times out of ten on my birthday.Not that I've ever had any real friends,they just want to have a chance of hooking up with my brother,Sam.
Oh,yeah.About him.Sam is my twin brother,and BFF.He's real sportsy,(I'm faster,though)and hilarious.He looks exactly like me-light brown hair,tons of freckles,and dark green eyes.He plays basketball,football,and track,and is top ranking in all of them.You could say he lived the perfect school life.
Back to moving-we were moving to a little town in the middle of no-ware called Juix.And as we approached the place,we saw a well worn sign that read-"Juix-Home of The Grave!"And as we passed,Sam snorted and remarked,
"That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen.Please tell me there's another Juix around here."Dad laughed,then got this stupid grin on his face,and pulled to a screechy stop at a small building.There was a huge sign that read,"Potbellied Pleasures-The One-Stop Cafe!"It was really worn away,though.So it looked more like-"Po oel ied Flea res-T e One- top Cat!"until you got close up,but hey,so did just about everything else in this dump.
"Let's get a bite before seeing the house!"Dad called to us,despite being in the car,and getting out with freakish enthusiasm(He's pretty good at that,trust me) in front of a small dinner.Mom got out with a more dignified aura,but squandered it when she cried out,
"Look!Little pig sculptures!And They're for sale!"and darted inside to examine them(She collects pigs),leaving without a second notice.Dad was quick to join her,pretending to be interested,while trying to persuade her the biggest and most expensive one wasn't best,and the little one with the chef hat would look better in the kitchen anyway.With a sigh,I got out to stand around and pretend not to know them,when Sam came up to me.
"Race ya!" he called,taking off,his sneakers slapping on the sidewalk.
"Cheater!"I yelled at him,taking off as well.I couldn't help but grin,and took off at what I considered a steady pace.I felt my foolish grin widen in delight as I passed him and his neon red Nike shirt,and nearly ran into the door at breakneck speed before pulling back into a cool saunter.
"Cheater!"he whispered in my ear as we walked up together,pushing each other around, to Mom and Dad.With a stupid smile plastered on his face,he quickly smoothed his hair back,winked at me,and remarked with serious exaggeration,
"Soooooooooooooooo,we gonna eat,or stand around gawking at pigs?"Mom cast a hostile glance at her vexing son,then got up.
"Hue!Quit looking at those pigs,we're hungry!"Dad was obviously going to say something,we could tell by the way he opened his mouth in protest,then snapped it shut and squished his face up bitterly.
"Let's sit here!"I suggested,indicating towards a round table with four chairs next to a huge circle window that took up the whole wall,showing off a beautiful patchwork quilt of Amber,yellow,and brown.In the midst of all this,there was a blue patch.What's that? I thought.
"What's that blue stuff,Dad?"when there was no reply,I looked over to my father,who had magically procured a thin,beat-up pamphlet,and was pouring over it intensely.I poked him in the arm with a fork and repeated my inquiry,"Dad.What's all that blue stuff?"He was now rubbing his arm,and he snapped back,
"I don't know.Something blue."and continued his strenuous reading.
"No Shiz Sherlock."I grumbled,and began to engage my brother with a game of Cat and Mouse with our hands,where one person would taunt another by sliding their hand across the table,and the other would try to hit it with their hand,only to realize that they had slid it away.The game was short however,for my brother had decided that it was more fun using a fork,and I didn't exactly consent with the idea,so we quit.
Finally the waitress,a tall girl,maybe sixteen,with dark brown hair and dark brown eyes came to the table.
"Hello.My name is Sandy,could I take your order?"Sandy's dark brown eyes glittered as she added,"Are you the new folk moving in to the Old Burgundsen's house?"My father was shocked,but smiled anyhow and replied,
"Yes,we are.How did you know?"the girl chuckled,her large toothy smile shimmering in the light,and she replied cordially,
"Oh,my uncle is friends with the guy who sold your father the house,whose name is Mark.Mark tells us your name is Hue,sir.Anyway,Hue.What can I do ya' for?"My father,still bemused,ordered,
"I'll take the Juix's Best XXL Burger,please."Sandy smiled,and inquired,
"I bet you'd like the Potbellied Pleasure of the day,Fishsticks and Vinegar.It was rated five stars by Jolie Jarner,and I myself enjoy it,too.It also comes with the salad bar,and a free soft drink."My father squinted,and remarked,
"I guess I'll give it a shot.Sharla,want to share?"Mom nodded,a smile on her face.
"I'd love to!"Soon everyone had given their orders,and had their minds changed by the charming Sandy,and what do you know,we're on the way home.

[Wolfin]

Love it! The story really shows Samantha's personality the way it's written.
Just two things;
1) The race was a bit quick. Could have been a few sentances.
2) It's 'Their' not 'There' in that part about the pigs up for sale.

[Rye]

Yeah,I was in a hurry,so there are still some mistakes.I probably should have posted that I wasn't quite don't with the chapter.

[Wolfin]

But for an unfinished chapter it's pretty fantastic!

[Rye]

Thank you! Instead of talking about the incomplete chapter,I should probably be finishing....Oh well.I'll get my chance...

[Wolfin]

Lawl. Yeah.

[Rye]

I edited the chapter,and completed it.

Critique wanted!