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Post by Flame Slim Shady on Nov 4, 2010 19:10:08 GMT -5
I still don't know what its about... but I'll get ideas!
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Post by Rye on Nov 4, 2010 20:07:04 GMT -5
I can't wait for your story!
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Post by Flame Slim Shady on Nov 5, 2010 20:13:18 GMT -5
Thanks! I guess I'll just have to take the Characters off because it's too hard thinking of names...
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Post by Flame Slim Shady on Nov 5, 2010 20:26:03 GMT -5
`Chapter One`
The winter's snow had vanished, in it's place leaving bright new flowers, and light green buds. All kinds of plants were sprouting from the earth. The rain was here too. The light green grass was wet with dew every morning, and every day it seemed a bit taller.
The wolves of Fading Shadows pack seemed to be enjoying this, and every day the fresh-kill pile was full. This seemed like a plentiful spring.
SilverStream padded into camp, her paw pads filled with mud. In her jaws was a plump thrush and a fat sparrow.....
(More later!)
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Post by Rye on Nov 6, 2010 19:06:28 GMT -5
Cool!I can't wait for you to finish!
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Post by Flame Slim Shady on Nov 7, 2010 13:44:46 GMT -5
Do you think I should change anything?
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Post by Rye on Nov 7, 2010 21:13:14 GMT -5
You may want to change the tense to past-it's easier to write in.
I also think some of your tenses are disagreeing...But I may be incorrect.
Otherwise It's looking good!!
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Post by Flame Slim Shady on Nov 9, 2010 22:26:00 GMT -5
Thanks so much for your opinions! What about now? (I edited it)
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Post by Rye on Nov 10, 2010 15:42:52 GMT -5
Ahh!*Wipes tear* It's Bea-U-tiful!
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Post by Spotty001 on Nov 10, 2010 20:17:12 GMT -5
It is quite good  Can't wait to see/hear/read more! Keep it coming! |
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Post by Flame Slim Shady on Nov 13, 2010 13:18:35 GMT -5
Thanks so much! I'll write more when I have time!  |
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Can't wait to see/hear/read more! Keep it coming!